Hands Up

Of all the insults pepetrated on movie reviewers, here's the latest and most pernicious:
On attending almost all screenings at regular movie theaters in Manhattan, and occasionaly at movie companies' screening rooms, you are subjected to these annoyances:

(1) Stand in line to have your bags searched for cameras and cell phones with cameras and recording devices.
(2) Be wanded by security personnel on the way into the auditorium, just as you are when you're passing through airport security, and
(3) Put up with roaming security guards in the theater who are (a) looking for people with cell phones who are recording the movie, or (b) scanning the theater with an infrared scanner that can be seen and distract you while you're watching the movie.
At several recent screenings, security guards interrupted the viewing so they could tell people to leave the theater because they were suspected of recording, or inquired if someone had a cell phone on their person.
At one screening, the guard actually got into a conversation with the viewer, a real nuisance if you're trying to keep track of a movie.
Reviewers are spoiled when they see movies in screening rooms, but even they have been invaded by security guards. Last week, one stood at the back of the screening room, checking out viewers and walking in and out of the room.
It's enough to dampen any enjoyment and concentration.
Unfortunately, too many of these security guards are humorless and seem to be taking their jobs ultra seriously, to the detriment of reviewers feeling free in pursuing what should be a pleasant occasion. I realize that movie companies lose many millions to piracy, but this Big Brother encroachment can't be the best means of preventing loss.
And just an FYI to these security folks: I don't own a cell phone, so relax.

Bean Brain

Who would have thought?

Rowan Atkinson's "Mr. Bean'' would make a worthy double bill item with "The Simpsons Movie.''

Yes, it's that funny. It opens Aug. 24.

Atkinson has been playing the Bean character for years, but never to this silly a tune. The movie depicts Mr. Bean's trip from England to the south of France on a free trip to the beach at Cannes. Along the way, everything goes wrong, hilariously.

Bean and the movie, which your kids will love as much as you, are borrowing from Jacques Tati's "Mr. Hulot's Holiday,'' released 54 years ago.

Just goes to the show you that what's funny never changes.

Admit One

On the new movie scene, there are two entries that deserve viewing.

Having seen it, I can vouch for "Death at a Funeral,'' a merry debunking of family unity from England that's directed by Frank Oz, the man who made one of the funniest movies, ever _ "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.''

About "The Invasion,'' I can only offer these hopeful points (without having screened it yet): (1) It's derived from Don Siegel's creepy classic, "Invasion of the Body Snatchers'' (1956); (2) it stars Nicole Kidman, and perhaps most important, (3) it co-stars Daniel Craig, the most dynamic actor working in movies today.

Even if "The Invasion'' doesn't measure up to its '50s' inspiration, it has good bones, and two big, big talents to keep us amused _ Kidman and Craig.

Surprise Surprise

Yes, this summer was bloated with sequels, some good, some not _ the "Harry,'' "Shrek,'' "Pirates,'' "Die Hard,'' "Ocean's,'' "Bourne'' and "Spider-Man'' franchises all took another waltz around the block.

But the best American movie of the summer was none of the above, by a long shot.

Eighteen years in the making, as it were, "The Simpsons Movie'' has it all _ laughs, wit, political chops and family values, abeit rather skewed values.

A confession: Somehow I've missed the TV version of "The Simpsons,'' so you can't say that I liked the movie simply because it was reinforcement of all those 18 years' worth of viewing. Nicest of all: the theater was filled with kids and adults.


As a newcomer, I could see why the show and now the movie are beloved: Smarts plus humor and no fear of taking on the usual suspects _ especially corporate America. Has there been such a wickedly accurate take on corporatism running amok than Albert Brooks' nutty dome executive?

And you get Tom Hanks thrown in for nothing. Priceless: "I'm Tom Hanks and if you see me in person, please don't bother me.''

Yay.

Brutal Bourne

Director Paul Greengrass is a perfect fit for a movie about government spies and the epic tumult of the early 21st century.

Greengrass has already made two highly emotional movies about the horror of bad people running amok in the real world: "Bloody Sunday,'' about police and the army terrorizing activists in Derry, Ireland, and, "United 93,'' about citizens fighting back when terrorists hijack a United Airlines flight on Sept. 11, 2001.

Greengrass now delivers a volatile and heartbreaking commentary on how spy agencies are out of control because they can't decide who's the enemy: "The Bourne Supremacy.''

CIA operatives and hired assassins gun for amnesiac Matt Damon's Jason Bourne, himself an ex-CIA assassin, because his campaign to uncover his identity may compromise CIA secrets and lies.

Greengrass's high-speed chase movie is a metaphor for the chaos of a world whose most important leaders insist we should be obsessed with the "war on terror." But who's creating the terror? From "The Bourne Supremacy,'' we can conclude that everybody is culpable, especially well-paid government officials.

Talk about terrifying.

Exit of the Titans

The news couldn't have been worse:

Ingmar Bergman, crafter of 50 films of power and imagination, died Monday on Faro, a remote island off the coast of Sweden. He was 89.

Now most of us would say that living until 89, and in reasonably good health, is a blessing, so why was the news so bad?

Because it's good just knowing that certain significant people in your life, even ripherally, are still alive and absorbing the same world you are.

Why was Bergman so important?

Because he could convert his two primary obsessions: how men and women get along, or not, and how people deal with mortality, into haunting, unforgettable images on screen. His movies (usually photographed by Sven Nykvist), were often in black and white, and captured the rapture and the turmoil of being alive.

Bergman's long, long list of remarkable film distillations of his personal torment and joy include "Smiles of a Summer Night,'' "Wild Strawberries,'' "Through a Glass Darkly,'' "The Virgin Spring,'' "Summer Interlude,'' "Monika,'' "Persona,'' "Fanny & Alexander,'' "The Seventh Seal,'' and "The Magic Flute.'' All are available on DVD and VHS, including wonderful packages from the outstanding Criterion Collection.


The following day, another titan of the great post-war European film pantheon died: Michelangleo Antonioni, at 94. His output was smaller and perhaps less groundbreaking than Bergman's but still, stirring, indelible comments on life in Italy, especially Rome, as that country endured the upheaval of rebuilding itself in a new, industrialized world.

Antonioni's movies were about the post-war ennui and dislocation experienced by Italians: his titles are worth your viewing _ "La Notte,'' "L'Eclipse,'' "L'Avventura,'' "Red Desert,'' and two films made outside of Rome _"Blow-Up,'' the notorious movie about a murder in England as seen through a camera's lens, and "Zabriskie Point,'' a story of the disaffection of American youth living in the southwest.

Bergman and Antonioni were giants whose work taught me that creative genius can translate their insights into movies with universal significance.